Could We Start Again, Please by Ten
by Babyverse Krewe
Summary: Buffy-Angel/Highlander Crossover - Cordelia looks toward the future - AU (Babyverse)


**Could We Start Again, Please**   
_(Part 1 of the My Immortal Series)_

  
  
AUTHOR: Ten   
RATING: PG   
SUMMARY: Cordy looks toward the future (AU Babyverse crossover)   
SPOILERS: It helps to have read Bed of Roses, Night Driving, but not required   
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to the god that is Joss Whedon (all hail and bow low before him), and WB, UPN, Mutant Enemy and some other people, but not me. Baby, Jean, and Rene belong to Ebony Silvers. Other characters are the property of members of the Babyverse Krewe and/or Davis/Panzer Productions. No one in this story belongs to me, I just play with them like a delicious collection of vampire Barbies!   
  
  
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_"My Immortal" by Evanescence   
  
I'm so tired of being here   
suppressed by all of my childish fears   
and if you have to leave   
i wish that you would just leave   
because your presence still lingers here   
and it won't leave me alone   
  
these wounds won't seem to heal   
this pain is just too real   
there's just too much that time cannot erase   
  
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears   
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears   
and I've held your hand through all of these years   
but you still have all of me   
  
you used to captivate me   
by your resonating light   
but now I'm bound by the life you left behind   
your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams   
your voice it chased away all the sanity in me   
  
these wounds won't seem to heal   
this pain is just too real   
there's just too much that time cannot erase   
  
when you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears   
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears   
and I've held your hand through all of these years   
but you still have all of me   
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone   
but though you're still with me   
I've been alone all along_   
  
  
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Cordy brought the glass of wine to her lips, the shade of red battling the color of her lipstick. She could not take her eyes off the man across the table from her. He was absolutely stunning with dark, longish ebony hair and eyes that looked right through to her soul. He possessed the kind of devastating good looks that caused women to stop and watch as he passed by, which is exactly what almost every woman, and many of the men, in the restaurant had done as they were seated at their table near the window. 

Sunlight sparkled on the silver and crystal, and most particularly through the merlot shimmering in her glass and now on her lips. She laughed lightly at his anecdote compelling him to lean across the small table and kiss the droplets of wine from her mouth. For the first time since they had met, she allowed it. 

In the last few weeks, he had become a new and intriguing figure in Cordelia's life. She had been taken with him from the first moment Jean Claude had introduced them at a cocktail party. As Jean had slipped away to let them chat alone, he had whispered to her that she could thank him properly later. And thank him she did. It had been the most pleasant evening she had spent in the last few years. She had, at first, been totally entranced by those soulful brown eyes and his honeyed voice with the light Scottish accent, but as the evening went on they had chatted endlessly about Los Angeles, him telling her about how things had changed and her talking about the many things she missed there. The hours had slipped by carelessly before she realized that without a doubt, Duncan MacLeod was one of the most fascinating men she had encountered in a very long time. 

Now, sitting at lunch with him, the warm summer sun heating her bare shoulders, she realized she had been holding back from him, as well as going ahead with her life, for far too long. She had kept their relationship at a comfortable, friendly distance, even though it had been quite obvious that Duncan was interested in pursuing a great deal more between them. "Damn Jean," she thought to herself. He had such a way of seeing what she needed and offering it to her, usually gift-wrapped, when she still didn't want to admit she needed something ... or someone. He had done it when her heart was shattered and she came to Mobile to find refuge from Angel and Baby and pain. He had done it when he joined her in Rene's bed, sensing she needed the shelter and comfort of both of them without bringing the complications of one-on-one intimacy into it. And here he presented her with a near perfect man who had the additional advantage of not only being immortal but of being able to be in sunlight, as well, something which truly appealed to her usually ungratified California girl sun worshipper upbringing. She really missed the sun. 

Cordy felt herself being drawn more and more into the initially casual kiss. Duncan's lips combined with the wine seduced her into a familiar warmth of arousal that she had missed. True, Rene and Jean had made her body hum over the last few years, and they had a way of surprising her sexually, but this was different. This was someone she could be tempted to live out the rest of eternity with, someone who aroused her not only sexually but also intellectually, someone with many common interests and incredible brown eyes. He was someone who could actually steal her heart away from Angel. The thought both thrilled and terrified her. 

Duncan sat back down, his eyes not wavering from her, watching her reaction and trying not to be too encouraged that the very strong walls Cordelia Chase Angel had built around her were beginning to weaken. He didn't speak, but from what she saw of his expression, he really didn't have to. She recognized that look immediately; it was one she had seen on Angel's face a thousand times. Hope. Hope that she would accept him, want him, stay with him. 

Cordelia quickly cast her eyes down at the fine, linen tablecloth, tracing her lips absently with her fingertips as if she were trying to feel any residual of his kiss. It was the first time she had been kissed by someone outside the family in well over a decade, perhaps two. It was at once a surprise and a revelation. 

She had sat on the fence of indecision about her marriage and her place in the family for too long. She was too scared to leave and too scared to stay, and she was still too hurt and devastated by Angelus's cruelty and Angel's infidelity to risk being alone with him anymore. She knew that five silent minutes between them would result in her melting like ice cream on a hot day. As much as he had hurt her and as much as she no longer trusted him, she still loved him above all others. But she couldn't be with him, not the way things were now, not with the shadow of Baby still between them, not with the painful memory of Angelus haunting her still, and certainly not when he had made no effort to reconcile them in the past two years. Though she had never heard of him seeing anyone else, she had felt for quite some time now that Angel had moved on, leaving things raw and unresolved between them. 

Lifting her eyes to Duncan, she suddenly felt bathed in peace. Just the sound of his voice made her relax and feel comfortable and unthreatened even if all he was doing was ordering lunch. She found herself staring at him, soaking him up into her mind and her heart as he asked for salad dressing on the side. Suddenly it was all very clear to her. She reached across the table and rested her hand on his. Duncan's attention immediately went to her; it was the first overt sign of affection she had ever shown him. 

"Let's get it to go." Cordelia's smile was warm and welcoming. 

He nodded to the waitress before he turned his hand over beneath hers then cradled her hand between his. Looking into her eyes he tried to remain calm, the corners of his mouth turning up almost playfully. "So, my dear, where shall we take our lunch?" 

Cordy hadn't even thought seriously about it. She just suddenly wanted to be out of the restaurant, away from prying eyes, some of whom, no doubt, had already reported where she was, who she was with, and what they were having for lunch. Her eyes met his for a few moments and all the thoughts she had just moments before replayed themselves to her now swimming mind. Here was a handsome, intelligent, immortal who was obviously attracted to her and had the kind of characteristics that, under normal circumstances, could have captured her heart in a few moments, much less the weeks Duncan had been waiting just to have a simple lunch alone with her. One advantage to those who were going to live forever, they were rarely in a hurry. He had been a good sport about all their other outings, entirely under the protective eye, sometimes glare, of Rene or Jean or even both. She had been careful about their meetings, not wanting to start family tongues wagging, but also because she wasn't sure she trusted herself around such a man. 

Duncan patiently waited for her to reply while she mulled things over in her mind, his eyes searching hers for any hint of an answer. The decision suddenly became clear to her, and she smiled slowly, letting the twinkle in her eyes touch his. 

"Take me outside, Duncan. I want to be in sunlight again." 

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*whispering softly* ... reviews .... reviews .... reviews 


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